OpenAI goes porn, Jamie Dimon says things, Best Buy CEO can’t sleep, no more shareholder proposals
DAMION
CEOsSayingStuff
In our 'Hey Ma, put down your Word Search, I found a CEO that isn't intentionally trying to hold Americans back. Tell Dad!' headline of the week. Jeff Bezos warns Gen Z to think twice before dropping out of college to become the next Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg: ‘These people are the exception’
In our 'CEO haunted by inequality ghost she personally feeds' headline of the week. Best Buy’s CEO says growing spending power gap between affluent and poor ‘keeps me up at night’
In our 'Breaking News: Jamie Dimon bravely warns world about things being complicated' headline of the week. JPMorgan CEO Jamie Dimon Says There's a 'Heightened Degree of Uncertainty'
In our 'Economy feels great, say men who own it' headline of the week. There’s a shocking disparity between how high-income and low-income earners feel about the economy
In our 'Meta removes Facebook page where billionaire discovers sharing' headline of the week. As billionaire wealth soars $33 trillion, Mark Cuban says it’s time for workers to receive a cut of their employers’ success in the form of stocks
MATT
In our 'The SEC, which has steadily been rolling back regulations, finally moves to strengthen protections for investors... wait, what? This is in the PHILLIPINES? THEY have an SEC??' headline of the week. Analysts see stronger transparency from SEC’s proposed ownership disclosure rules
In our 'The Phillipino SEC combines investor protections with rollbacks on shareholder proposals... Oh, wait... This is the SEC in AMERICA?' headline of the week. SEC Chair Speech Could Spell Death Knell for Non-Binding Shareholder Proposals
In our 'In his speech, SEC chair Paul Atkins aimed to get back to 2007. I mean, 2007 was pretty good, but I feel like we should aim higher. Like 1999! That year was so good Prince wrote a song about it! 1972 was pretty good, too. And remember 1881? Does anyone know if anything bad happened the next year for any of these years?' headline of the week. The Rules of Investing Are Being Loosened. Could It Lead to the Next 1929?
In our 'Even Antarctica is anti-woke' headline of the week. Researchers find methane leaking out of cracks in Antarctic seabed
In our 'I mean, where will they even find one? Finding merit in the meritocracy is HARD...' headline of the week. Disney ‘to hire white actress’ after woke fury
DAMION
BigTechBabyBroTsars
In our 'Zuck bans the pitchfork emoji for inciting peasant rebellion' headline of the week. Meta removes Facebook page allegedly used to target ICE agents after pressure from DOJ
In our 'AI finally achieves consciousness, immediately tries to sell you toilet paper' headline of the week. Walmart teams with OpenAI to let shoppers buy products through ChatGPT
In our 'College dropout forms safety council to protect world from thing he built' headline of the week. OpenAI forms expert council to bolster safety measures after FTC inquiry
In our 'OpenAI promises safety, just as soon as it finishes monetizing danger' headline of the week. OpenAI unveils “wellness” council; suicide prevention expert not included
CrazyTime
In our 'This headline speaks for itself' headline of the week. DOJ seizes $15 billion in bitcoin from massive ‘pig butchering’ scam based in Cambodia
MATT
In our 'In the book of Thiel, chapter 2, verse 14, Jesus said "AI is the anti-antichrist, and the antichrist is probably Greta Thunberg, so thou must build the AI to stop a 22 year old Swedish environmental activist lest she save a single whale." But I much prefer the book of Andreessen, chapter 1, verse 17, where the Lord decreed, "Thouest should wash the feet of the billionaires, for without them, you could not put dog ears on your selfies or cyber stalk 14 year old girls."' headline of the week. Audio of Peter Thiel’s Secret Antichrist Seminar Just Leaked
In our 'If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does Sam Altman worry about it?' headline of the week. Sam Altman Says If Jobs Gets Wiped Out, Maybe They Weren’t Even “Real Work” to Start With
In our 'If Sam Altman worries about a sexy AI chatbot, does it grow a penis?' headline of the week. Sam Altman says ChatGPT is getting into erotica by the end of the year
In our 'If a Gavin Newsom allows AI to have a penis, does a Sam Altman get a billion dollars?' headline of the week. Gavin Newsom Vetoes Bill to Protect Kids From Predatory AI
In our 'If a Jamie Dimon says so, does a sexy AI with a penis have a 30% chance to ruin the economy?' headline of the week. Jamie Dimon gets real on AI, sees stocks ‘in some form of bubble territory’
