No more proxy advice, Lululemon’s succession, CEOs just sayin, and Apple’s new lawyer

Story of the Week (DR):

1. 3 from Trump: Trump Orders SEC to Review Proxy Adviser Rules in ESG Rebuke AND Trump signs executive order for single national AI regulation standard, limiting power of states AND Trump says Netflix, WBD deal could be 'problem' as son-in-law Kushner backs Paramount bid

1. Trump directed several federal agencies to tighten regulations on proxy advisers:

1. The S.E.C. was ordered to review rules and guidelines regarding the industry, including revising or rescinding any related to diversity, equity and inclusion (known as D.E.I.) and environment, social and corporate governance (or E.S.G.).

2. The F.T.C. and the attorney general were directed to examine state antitrust investigations into the companies to see if there was a “probable link” between those inquiries and potential violations of federal antitrust law.

3. And the Labor secretary was told to review regulations about the fiduciary duties of proxy advisers and others who advise managers of certain employee retirement accounts.

2. These firms “wield enormous influence over corporate governance matters,” the executive order reads, adding that they “regularly” use their power to “advance and prioritize radical politically motivated agendas” instead of focusing on shareholder returns.

2. CEO Moves:

1. Lululemon Athletica’s C.E.O., Calvin McDonald, will step down as the athleisure clothing maker struggles to turn itself around. MM

1. His tenure had been criticized by the company’s founder, Chip Wilson.

2. The athleisure  retailer said that Calvin McDonald will step down as CEO and board member, effective January 31. Lululemon CFO Meghan Frank and chief commercial officer André Maestrini will serve as interim co-CEOs while the company searches for a new leader.

3. McDonald has served as CEO of Lululemon since 2018, during which time he built the company into a brand powerhouse. But the company has been underperforming for more than a year, with the weakness most apparent in its core North American marke

4. Time to let a woman run

1. Interim co-CEO: CFO Meghan Frank

2. Board chair Marti Morfitt (CEO of River Rock partners, Airborne, and CNS)

3. Director Alison Loehnis (former president and ad interim CEO of Yoox Net-a-porter group)

4. Levi Strauss CEO Michelle Gass

5. Horrible board skills:

1. Economics and Accounting 34%

2. Mechanical 19%

3. Computers and Electronics 12%

4. Sales and Marketing 5%

5. Administrative 5%

2. Coca-Cola names insider Henrique Braun as CEO, replacing James Quincey

1.  Quincey will transition to the role of executive chairman

3. Disney wants you to AI-generate yourself into your favorite Marvel movie

1. The media company is investing $1bn in OpenAI – and allowing its characters to be used in generated videos

4. Tech Billionaires Are Starting Private Cities to Escape the United States

1. Coinbase CTO Balaji Srinivasan shared his vision for the “ultimate exit” by tech industry elites from the “failing” United States. “I think it’s fair to say, in 2025, we have a movement”

1. That movement is the rise of “startup societies,” a pro-corporate, anti-government coalition of tech magnates, libertarian idealists, and neoliberal economic theorists.

2. As the Financial Times notes in new reporting on the phenomenon, the movement is indeed growing. What once was the stuff of dystopian fiction like the Bioshock franchise is now the task of some 120 startup societies throughout the world, each scrambling to erect specially-built cities to court billionaires who feel maligned by organized society.

Goodliest of the Week (MM/DR):

1. DR: Eileen Higgins will be Miami's first-ever woman mayor

1. Democrat Eileen Higgins is a sharp contrast to her predecessor, Republican Francis Suarez, who leaned into masculinity politics during his term

1. BS in mechanical engineering from the University of New Mexico; MBA from Cornell University; country director of the Peace Corps in Belize; foreign service officer for the U.S. Department of State; Miami–Dade County Commissioner

2. Republican Francis Suarez: son of former Miami mayor Xavier Suarez; attorney with the law firm Greenspoon Marder, specializing in corporate and real estate transactions

2. DR: U.S. Court Strikes Down “Unlawful” Trump Ban on Wind Energy Projects

1. A U.S. federal court struck down an executive order by President Trump aimed at freezing new wind energy developments across the country, agreeing with a coalition of 18 State Attorneys General that the administration’s order was “arbitrary and capricious and contrary to law.”

3. MM: Nintendo’s 98% staff retention rate means the average employee has been there 15 years

Assholiest of the Week (MM):

1. Just sayin…

1. RJ Scaringe, who recently got a mini Musk pay package and can afford a secretary: Rivian's CEO said self-driving cars shouldn't just be able to drive, but also run errands for you like a secretary: 5

2. Joe Lonsdale, Stanford grad: Palantir cofounder calls elite college undergrads a ‘loser generation’ as data reveals rise in students seeking support for disabilities, like ADHD: 7 

1. Palantir Chief Legal Officer went to Stanford undergrad, Harvard for law school - and I bet he’s a good lawyer: Palantir Sues CEO of Rival AI Firm, Alleges Widespread Effort to Poach Employees 

3. Cracker Barrel customers, average age of 340 year old: Cracker Barrel diners are sounding the alarm; here’s what reportedly has them furious: 3

1. One of those customers, 73-year-old Craig Watkins of Northern California, told the Journal he has watched the chain’s quality fade and wants old staples and original maple syrup restored.

2. "I want pure syrup on pancakes, not that watered-down junk," he said, adding that he brings his own syrup when he visits.

3. Craig, pure maple syrup is WOKE

4. Mark Cuban, billionaire: Billionaire Mark Cuban Says If You Want To Get Rich, Give Things Up—Drink Water Instead Of Coffee, Eat Mac & Cheese Not McDonald's, 'Save Every Penny': 5

5. Jim Cramer, CEO sycophant: Billionaires Won't Save You,' Says Jim Cramer. 'They're Out For Themselves' And 'Never Apologize For Their Negativity': 5

1. Jim Cramer on Meta CEO: “Zuckerberg Makes Elon Musk Look Like a Real Softy”

6. Sam Altman, who forgets for 10,000 years babies were raised without AI: Sam Altman makes his late-night debut, says he can't imagine 'figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT': 9

7. Elon Musk, manbaby: Elon Musk says the E.U. should be 'abolished'

8. Alex Karp, who is trying desperately to stay in headlines: Palantir CEO Says Legalizing War Crimes Would Be Good for Business: 10

9. Bob Iger word-salading his investment in OpenAI: ‘Creativity is the new productivity’: Bob Iger on why Disney chose to be ‘aggressive,’ adding OpenAI as a $1 billion partner: 7

2. Honorable mention:

1. Red Pill Apple - People moves: Former Meta CLO joins Apple as new general counsel

1. Jennifer Newstead was at Meta from 2019, prior was an appointee of Trump 1.0 at Department of State and way back is partially credited with drafting the Patriot Act in Bush Jr (the act that allows the US to spy on everyone).  

2. Normally a move like this no one cares about, but shouldn’t we?  This is a new exec with a red pill, eye-in-the-sky history joining a company who literally sells privacy - they did a whole commercial about it that aired for a year

3. She joins as Tim Cook keeps showing up at every bro-fest dinner with Trump, Musk, Huang, and all the other techlords of the universe

Headliniest of the Week

1. DR: Woman Hailed as Hero for Smashing Man’s Meta Smart Glasses on Subway

2. DR: Sam Altman makes his late-night debut, says he can't imagine 'figuring out how to raise a newborn without ChatGPT'

1. Has he never heard of a library?

3. MM: Project to Resurrect Dead Grandmas Sparks Controversy

4. MM: When David Ellison was 13, his billionaire father Larry bought him a plane. He competed in air shows before leaving it to become a Hollywood executive

Who Won the Week?

1. DR: Miami shareholders

2. MM: Miami, who got their first female mayor and the first democrat in 30 years, is overqualified, and was running against a nepo baby

Predictions

1. DR: Lululemon still picks a man, because DEI is illegal

MM: After reading this headline: Cracker Barrel stock drops after-hours as chain reports losses from 'unique and ongoing headwinds' - Robby Starbuck renames himself Unique and Ongoing Headwind Starbuck.