FRIDAY WRAP: JPMorgan buys First Republic, Pornhub out on Utah, Anheuser Busch's "don't say trans" earnings call, mom's out of the workforce, and HotChat3000

LIVE from your ESG defibrillator, it’s a Business Pants Friday Show here at May 5th Lane Studios, featuring all your favorites: Ari the data queen, Jessie the money whisperer, BS-man Matt Moscardi. On today’s weekly wrap up: loneliness is the new smoking, Pornhub is the new Dwyane Wade, Anheuser Busch is the new Bob Chapek, and Utah is the new Utah

Story of the Week (DR):

1. Hollywood Writers Go On Strike After Talks With Studios Fail

1. More than 10,000 unionized film and television writers have gone on strike, the Writers Guild of America (WGA) announced on Monday

2. A.I. is one of the main reasons that Hollywood writers are on strike: ‘Too many people are using it against us and using it to create mediocrity’

2. JPMorgan is buying First Republic Bank after it was taken over by regulators AB MM JS

1. First Republic Bank was put into receivership by regulators early Monday.

1. JPMorgan is taking over the failed lender and its deposits of almost $104 billion.

2. First Republic's failure is the second-largest in US history.

2. The FDIC estimated that the cost to its Deposit Insurance Fund will be about $13 billion.

3. Glass Cliff Alert?

1. The acquired First Republic businesses will be overseen by JPMorgan Chase’s Consumer and Community Banking (CCB) Co-CEOs, Marianne Lake and Jennifer Piepszak.

3. ‘Angry, sick, and alone’: Social isolation is as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, or having six drinks a day

1. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy released an advisory on the importance of social connection in an increasingly isolated society. The advisory defines social connection as our interactions and relationships, and sense of connection as individuals and societies. It notes that social connection is a spectrum, not a binary quality of being lonely or not lonely.

2. Here are some of the highlights of the advisory:

1. Overall social participation is decreasing: Polls show the percent of Americans who felt like they could trust in each other dropped from 45% to 30% between 1972 to 2016. The average time alone has increased from 285 minutes in 2003 to 333 minutes a day in 2020—an average increase of about one day a month spent entirely alone. The decrease is particularly stark for people between the ages of 15-24: for them, time with friends has decreased by 70% over the past two decades. 

2. Social isolation has a profound impact on health: It’s as damaging as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, or having six drinks a day. Loneliness increases the risk of heart disease and stroke by about 30%. Chronic loneliness can increase the risk of dementia by 50%. It is also the strongest predictor of suicidality. 

4. BS Exclusive: Vivek Ramaswamy Paid to Have His Soros Fellowship and Covid-Era Role Scrubbed from Wikipedia Page

Goodliest of the Week (AB):

1. After Pornhub shut down its site in Utah, Google searches for VPN access jumped JS MM DR

1. Why goodliest: because Pornhub LEFT AN ENTIRE STATE when they passed a law that was stupid and sucked - if they can do it, so can everyone in Florida, right?

2. Apple and Google submit plan to fight AirTag stalking

1. Apple and Google are ready to stop letting you get stalked by AirTags and other devices like Tile. These devices were created to help you find your keys, your luggage, your kids, but it is increasingly being used to keep tabs on ex lovers and people who don’t know are being tracked.

2. The companies individually have created alerts to let users know they are being tracked, but what they are doing now is creating an industry standard. Domestic violence advocates have applauded the effort and overall the response is this will help protect survivors of abusive relationships.

3. Outside Hollywood Studios, Writers Make Their Case

1. The best picket signs of the Hollywood writers' strike Tuesday

2. “As the Writers Guild of America strike continues into its third day, the jokes aren't on late night TV anymore — they're on the picket lines.

3. More than 11,000 movie and television writers have stopped working after contract negotiations stalled out between their union and the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, the trade association that represents Hollywood's studios and production companies.

Assholiest of the Week (MM):

1. Everyone at Anheuser Busch JS MM

1. WE LOVE BEER AND PEOPLE, JUST DON’T MAKE US SAY “TRANS” OR “GAY”

1. Since we are talking about the U.S., let me share some thoughts on the Bud Light situation and put it in the context of our global company. Let me start by clarifying a few facts. This was the result of one camp. It was not made for production or sales to general public. It was one post, not a formal campaign or advertisement. 

2. This situation has impacted our people and especially our frontline workers: The delivery drivers; sales representatives; our wholesalers; Bud owners; and servers. These people are the fabric of our business. They are our neighbors, family members, and friends. They are in every community in America. We've been doing everything we can to support our teams and ensure that safety while continuing to brew, package, and together for wholesalers deliver great beer to the market. We are providing direct financial support to the frontline teams that work for us and our wholesalers. 

3. We continue to be committed to the programs and partnerships that we have forged over decades with our consumers and with organizations that represent a wide range of communities where we operate. 

4. We stand behind Bud Light, and we'll continue to invest in the brand to drive it forward. 

5. But life is very important to our U.S. business, and I would never minimize the situation. However, seeing the context of our global company provides perspective. 

6. And our full-year EBITDA growth outlook is unchanged. 

2. ALSO, WHILE YOU’RE LOOKING AT THE TRANS LADY, WE ALSO LOVE… CHINA

1. In China, our business delivered double-digit top and bottom-line growth as channel traffic continued to normalize and consumer demand for our portfolio accelerates.

3. AND AS LONG AS YOU’RE DISTRACTED BY YOUR LOATHING OF QUEER FOLK, ALSO ESG IS PRETTY COOL…

1. Now I would like to share with you a few sustainability highlights. We continue to work in collaboration with our suppliers to drive decarbonization across our supply chain. In March this year, we were recognized by CDP as being a top supplier engagement leader in 2022. In circular packaging, our team's on awards for our innovations using up-cycle barley straw in majority recycled marine waste for Corona 6-packs and crates.

4. OH, YOU STILL HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE TRANS THING?  OH, YOU HAVE FIVE DIFFERENT ANALYSTS ASKING THE SAME QUESTION FIVE WAYS ABOUT THE TRANS THING??  

1. One challenge is what you call the misinformation and confusion that still exists. We will need to continue to clarify the fact that this was one can, one influencer, one post, and not a campaign, and repeat this message for some time. 

2. And one key thing in the U.S. was quickly adjust and streamline our structure. 

5. MORE TRANS STUFF?  JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE NOW HAVE SENIOR MARKETERS ON THIS… NOT JUNIOR WOKE GAYS…

1. So in this situation and given the current environment, especially for the social media landscape, that we have senior marketers running the programs.

6. LET ME CLARIFY: WE HATE GAYS, WE LOVE SPORTS

1. We know that the Bud Light lane is around, quality beer is to drink, is to enjoy, is about sports. That's why we came back strong with the NFL Draft. It's about music and it's about everyday enjoyment. So when we do that, our brand performs very well. As we mobilize resources, so that is people resources, time, that is knowledge, resources, that is partners that we have, and that is money. So our plan for the summer in the U.S. was already a very strong plan. 

2. Paying to have your Wikipedia article scrubbed of the words “Soros” and “COVID 19 response team” DR

1. Also, Vivek just sent this out:

3. They are tied at 4%, and Pence isn’t running

3. Bauer Food LLC + McDonald’s AB

4. Deepfake designed deepfake meat

5. ISS

1. THE RECOMMENDATION IS OUT: AT TESLA, VOTE OUT… Robyn Denholm only?

2. JB Straubel - SAFE

3. Elon - SAFE

4. So… Robyn Denholm is the problem on her own? 

Exhausting-est of the Week (JS):

1. Utah

1. Utah State Board of Education considers removing ‘climate change’ from curriculum

2. Deciding whether the term “climate change” is too politically charged to be taught to students

2. More moms are leaving the workforce, but it’s not because they want to MM DR

1. Nearly 10,000 American mothers were surveyed for Motherly’s 2023 State Of Motherhood report. Here are some findings:

1. 18% of moms changed jobs or left the workforce in the past year. Of those, 28% said they did so to be home with young kids, but 15% are staying home due to a lack of childcare.

2. About half of families (49%) rely on outside childcare, with 63% paying for 30 or more hours a week.

3. One in five moms say they aren’t satisfied with the care, and a whopping 69% say that’s because of the crushing expense.

2. For many moms, that crushing expense is more than enough reason to stay home; 52% of those say they would need more affordable childcare to return to work. But, 64% say they would need a more flexible work schedule in order to return to work. 

3. I read a Harvard Business Review article titled: Two New Moms Return to Work — One in Seattle, One in Stockholm

1. Sarah-in-Seattle and Sarah-in-Stockholm are both white, middle-class, married, professional women with babies and toddlers at home. But their experiences as working mothers returning to work after giving birth could not have been more different. Sarah-in-Stockholm benefits from a host of family-friendly policies that the Swedish government supports, including lengthy paid parental leave, free healthcare, and subsidized childcare. Without any of those supports, Sarah-in-Seattle has struggled to balance her job and child-rearing. 

4. It’s not just the Nordic countries- there are many others that support and subsidize the transition after having children including Singapore, France, Netherlands, Canada, Iceland, Germany, Japan and even Russia

3. AI in the dating world

1. The newest AI dating website has arrived on the scene: Hot Chat 3000

2. When a user enters Hot Chat 3000, they're asked to upload a picture of themselves as electronic music hums in the background. The picture is "analyzed" and given a "hotness" rating on a scale of 1-to-10, which in turn dictates who the user can chat with. So a user who earns a score of 5.4 will be matched with another person who scores between 5.0 and 5.9.

3. There are no names in the world of Hot Chat 3000; instead, everyone is identified by their score. So, I became "6.8" and my chat partner was called "6."

4. The outputs are a reflection of the data they were trained on. Critics explain that Hot Chat 3000 very deliberately sets out to expose, visualize, exacerbate these biases," the site says.

Who Won the Week?

1. DR: Nextera Energy Chair John Ketchum: because he gets to sit on my team’s board with five incredible women: 2 Hall-of-Famers and 3 All Stars

2. MM: Soros brother

3. JS: Mary Silvestri- the 92-year-old CT native that was supposed to audition for the Rockettes when she was a teenager but couldn’t find a ride into the city was invited to The Rockettes latest audition this week at Radio City Hall. She spent the day doing high kicks, learning how to bevel and giving a pep talk to the 800 Rockette hopefuls

Predictions

1. DR: Glass Cliff scenario brewing at Kaman Corporation, an aerospace company headquartered in Bloomfield, Connecticut:

1. Benchwarmer CEO/Chair Ian Walsh hitting .756 in earnings but only .150 in TSR (largely due to a .060 controversies batting average?)

2. Meanwhile, the rest of his board hits .312/.446 overall

3. Ian takes the fall because of his overwhelming 37% influence

1. But four female directors–including 3 of 4 committee chair– hold 39% of influence and decided to take him down

4. This will have to be an external glass cliff hire because the next 4 NEOs are men

1. Until you get to Chief Human Resources Officer Megan Morgan and Chief Marketing Officer Kristen Samson

2. MM: Hot Chat 3000