Campbell’s directors favorite soups, headline mad libs

Campbell’s directors favorite soups, headline mad libs

Free Float Media

DR

1. The Campbell’s Company

   1. November 17, 2026 9:00 a.m. Eastern Time virtual

   2. Elect 12 directors

      1. Fabiola R. Arredondo: A gold soup mug with a built-in cashmere soup spoon (Burberry; formerly Saks)

      2. Howard M. Averill: A solar, tomato-soup scented calculator shaped like an Oscar statue (Time Warner CFO)

      3. CEO Mick J. Beekhuizen: A prototype soup called “All the Damn Soup” that incorporates every single Campbell’s product into one can so he can layoff manufacturing staff and increase his EPS-tied bonus (CEO and former Goldman Sachs Managing Director) with grilled cheese, plated as if it’s a new product launch.

      4. Bennett Dorrance, Jr.: “The Nepobaby Soup with Extra Sodium” from an oceanside resort in a third world country: heirloom tomatoes, secret family-recipe stock, a sprig of ivy, poppy seeds from MOMA’s permanent collection—served with a garnish of great-grandson oregano (founder family, Princeton Art History major)

      5. Maria Teresa (Tessa) Hilado: “Antihistamine Soup” injected directly into your nostrils (Allergan CFO)

      6. Grant H. Hill: A god damn basketball (NBA)

      7. Sarah Hofstetter: A can opener that disintegrates after each use so the consumer has to buy another stupid can opener because who cares anyway as long as people are buying, buying, buying (President of Profitero, Ltd., a global eCommerce SaaS analytics company that provides brand manufacturers with analytics and insights to accelerate eCommerce sales)

      8. Marc B. Lautenbach: Soup from a can. (CEO Pitney Bowes 2012-2023 before that 27 years at IBM)

      9. Mary Alice D. Malone, Jr.: “Jimmy Choo Tamia Flat” — $1,295 (founded the luxury footwear brand Malone Souliers; Following her mother’s death in June 2025, she and her sister Catherine Dorrance Malone inherited an 18% combined stake in The Campbell’s Company.)

      10. Keith R. McLoughlin: A soup spoon gavel hybrid for soup slurping and meeting chairing.” (Chair)

      11. Kurt T. Schmidt: “Interdimensional Munchie Chowder”: mac-and-cheese soup with pizza-roll dumplings, crushed Cape Cod mesquite-flavored chips, and a grilled-cheese crouton served in a mug that plays Dark Side of the Moon that is activated by the metal of a spoon (former CEO Cronos Group, cannabinoid company)

      12. Archibold D. van Beuren: a stack of money that smells like a bowtie dipped in hot gravy (descendant, Vice Chair of Brandywine Trust Group).

   3. 1 SHP

      1. report on the effectiveness of the Company’s regenerative agriculture program including pesticide reduction outcomes: As You Sow

   4. CEO Pay Ratio 152:1

   5. One share one vote

      1. Dorrance family 25%

         1. Bennett Dorrance 15%

         2. The Mary Alice Dorrance Malone Revocable Trust 10%

      2. Contango 6%

      3. Vanguard 8%

      4. BlackRock 9%

   6. 2026 Corporate Responsibility Report

      1. WokeWash

      2. 34 photos

      3. 221 people

      4. 55% women

      5. 44% POC

      6. 10 management: 30% women; 0% POC

      7. “Diversity”: 10

         1. Biodiversity: 8

         2. Diversity: 2

            1. 2025 INCLUSION & BELONGING HIGHLIGHTS

               1. 4C Employee Resource Group (ERG) model

               2. Introduced a comprehensive framework for enterprise diversity strategy planning and ERG optimization, emphasizing four key pillars that guide ERG strategy and impact:

                  1. Culture – Building inclusive environments where all employees feel they belong

                  2. Career – Creating pathways for professional development and advancement

                  3. Community – Fostering connection both internally and externally with volunteerism and outreach in support of our Community Affairs efforts

                  4. Company Impact – Contributing to business objectives and organizational success

            2. For years, the farm has been applying organic fertilizers and incorporating diversity through crop rotations and cover crops.

      8. Female: 0; DEI; 0; woman: 0; women: 1 (Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children (WIC)); black: 0; people of color: 0; asian: 0 hispanic: 0; latino: 0; gay: 0; lgbtq: 0

      9. Board = 33% women (25% non-descendents); 17% POC (8% non former NBA players)

      10. Leadership team: 55% women; 11% POC

MM

A Headline MadLib Adventure

1. _____________ finally fixed the age-old problem of stale cereal

2. ____________ Says Gen Z Are Lame for Not Worshipping AI

3. ____________ loses bid to toss NAACP lawsuit over Memphis data center air pollution

4. __________ to pay $220 million after selling customer Smart Driver data

5. The FTC accuses __________ of routinely overcharging customers

6. __________'s founder wants to scan you

7. ___________ says Big Tech should get used to being hated — like Big Pharma

8. Backing Up the Boss or Simply Backing Down? When Board Decisions Raise Questions About ____________

9. ________ Appoints Fabian Garcia as CEO

10. Anthropic's IPO is also a landmark event for _____

    1. General Mills finally fixed the age-old problem of stale cereal

    2. Sam Altman Says Gen Z Are Lame for Not Worshipping AI

    3. SpaceX loses bid to toss NAACP lawsuit over Memphis data center air pollution

    4. GM to pay $220 million after selling customer Smart Driver data

    5. The FTC accuses Dollar General of routinely overcharging customers

    6. Spotify’s founder wants to scan you

    7. Reed Hastings says Big Tech should get used to being hated — like Big Pharma

    8. Backing Up the Boss or Simply Backing Down? When Board Decisions Raise Questions About Deference

    9. Clorox Appoints Fabian Garcia as CEO

    10. Anthropic's IPO is also a landmark event for ants